‘Cause love costs less in supermarkets.

It was a full page advertisement that was positively screaming for my attention. Absolutely hollering for the opportunity to be torn apart in My Big Mouth. Well you got your wish, dear supermarket ad.

On the eve of St Valentine’s Day, one of Australia’s largest supermarket chains, Coles, placed an ad for cheap(ish) roses with a headline that blared –

Love costs less at Coles.

Now, as a marketing chick with a few hundreds years experience in copywriting (and er, creating needs for things that the great unwashed don’t really, er need), I can kinda appreciate the cleverness of the thought behind the ad.

But it actually made my stomach churn.

So let me get this straight. Love costs less at Coles – implying of course that love costs – period. What the hell does this mean? That a supermarket hawking cans of tuna and washing powder have also done a deal with Cupid so they can offer love at a discounted price?

Shame on all the schmos who were lured by this promise of cheaper lerve – in noisy cellophane.

Okay, I admit it.

In my early, bad-permed teens, I yearned, heck, ached for some beautiful, impossibly romantic stranger to send me a card anonymously. So strong was this desire to be fawned over from afar – I may have even sent myself a card… or two. So yes, I admit it. I have a soft spot for this universal day of L.O.V.E.

But when full-page ads start cheapening this priceless force in our lives, it really, truly gives me the good old fashioned shits.

And I don’t care how clever the headline is.

I get it. Love is a many splendored thing. But does romance have to be big business – really??

Here’s a crazy concept. Celebrate an Un-Valentine’s Day with your love.

Find a day when your heart is not dictated to. Write a few lines of poetry (that don’t have to rhyme), make a few muffins (heart-shaped if you wanna) – do something, anything heartfelt because YOU WANT TO and not because a newspaper ad, or peer pressure, inspires you to.

And here’s an even nuttier notion - don’t spend money on the gesture. !

The only thing that should cost is fame – remember? And right here is where you start paying in sweat – remember? I don’t think Debbie Allen would yank her legwarmers and big dancing stick out of mothballs to spit the words,

‘Cause love costs! And right here is where you start paying in guilt,’
(If you don’t buy an exorbitantly priced bloom, jewel or bra, that is.)

Don’t get me wrong. Not all retail smacks of gimmick on St Valentine’s Day.

This morning, my little family and I brunched at a local bakery/café. And there in the window was a sign. Simple in its execution, chalk on blackboard, but with self-raising wit.

‘Say it with flour,’ it grinned.

Delicious. Question is, would your beloved accept a slice of sourdough, over a bunch of reduced roses on St Valentine’s Day?

© Phyllis Foundis 2010